The Secret is Out

Funny story: I'm cleaning up in the garage and I find some deoderant : "Secret" - you know, strong enough for a man, yet made for a woman. I'm not sure how it got in my garage, but there it was, in my hand, needing a home. Coincidentally, I was running low on deoderant in my gym bag, so that is where I stashed it. As my wife watched, she said, "won't your friends make fun of you?" Well of course they would, if the ever saw it, but who's gonna see it? Nobody. At least that is what I assured myself of.

The very next day, today, I'm walking out of the gym and meet three of my running buddies outside, with a fourth fella I didn't know. As we were talking, what should fall out of my bag, right on cue, right in the midst of all of us? No, not my toothpaste, my mp3 player, a shoe, or anything else that would have gone unnoticed. Yes, it was my Secret. It hit the ground in slow motion, bounced around for awhile until everyone's attention was fixed on it, and then it rested, face up, powdery blue. SECRET. STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!. I couldn't pick it up fast enough; but it was too late.

The cat was out of the bag, so to speak. Actually, I wish it was only a cat. I'd have been able to live that one down. Not this, however. I wasn't planning on sharing my Secret with anyone, obviously. I knew I was doomed. It didn't take two seconds:

"SECRET! Isn't that for women?!"

"Hey, you suuure smell nice."

"Awww, he put it back in his purse."

And on and on. The were still shouting at me as I was getting in my car, across the street. Even the guy I didn't know was getting into the act.

"Say sweetie, what are you doing after work?"

I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but it didn't really matter. The Secret is out.